Prayers

#496 - My Loved One Attacked Innocent People
Volume 2 - Prayers to Love Our Neighbor

Dear Father, I can't believe this. I can't believe my loved one did such a despicable thing. A murderer of innocent people. I feel so ashamed. I feel so guilty. What did I do to them that caused them to do this to others? Where did I miss the warning signs? This is not how I taught them. I tried to be the best spouse, parent, sibling, child, and friend I could be to them. Father, I am so angry with them. Look what they've done to me. They didn't just murder innocent people, they murdered my heart. I must live with this now the rest of my life. I have the public shame to deal with. I can't imagine living with this. They deserve what's coming to them. I understand the hatred the survivors and the public feels for them. Part of me wants to scream, "I don't know this murderer." However, he or she is my loved one. We have shared many precious moments together. I have poured myself into their life all these years. I did that out of love. I remember their innocence. Were they victimized themselves? Traumatized? Do I have blame in this? Father, help me. Help me to examine my heart, confess what I need to confess, and repent of what I need to repent of. Father, I ask that this horrific nightmarish season of my life leads to a deeper commitment to You. Make my faith increase through this. Make me more of a lover of other people than I have been. Help me share my story with others whose loved ones have committed an atrocity. If my loved one is still alive, bring about their full recovery - physically, spiritually, and emotionally. May they feel genuine remorse and repentance. May they hunger to offer restitution to the victims and their families. Lead them to a deep faith with Jesus Christ as You protect them in prison. Help me to, from the outside, support their transformation into a godly character behind bars. Amen.

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